Warning: Contains language and M/M sexual activity
Disclaimer: The Bee has no claim of ownership on the characters in this story but
the plot and story are original. Please do not take without asking.
Summary: In the year 2012, the vampires of the world stood up and revealed
themselves to mankind in an attempt to rule the Earth. All did not go as planned and
now they have become second class citizens living under the control of an international
entity known as the IVRC. For some vampires, who can't forget the freedom of the past,
their existence as a near-slave population is something to revolt against. The vampires
need a new hero and Spike has needs of his own.
Thanks to Petxnd for the preread and the lovely banner.
"Oooo. Where am I? Who am I? What am I?"
"My flat. Elmer Toots and a fucking moron."
Elmer's eyes popped open and his head snapped around in the direction of the sarcastic
voice. His arm flopped around limply and he vaguely noticed that he was lying on a
very comfortable, high quality sofa that sported one of the lumbar-back supports that he
had always dreamed of owning.
"Spike? Spike old buddy. Is that you? What happened?"
Spike was standing barefoot in the kitchen area. After the embarrassing spectacle at the cafe,
he had tossed the limp and over-weight vampire over his shoulder and brought him back here
to prevent Elmer from saying something awkward and possibly incriminating as he came
to. Which had taken the good part of an hour.
Spike blew his cool breath into his steamy mug of blood while his spoon clink-clinked as
he stirred the beverage slowly. At the first signs of his guest's recovery, Spike wandered
back into the livingroom area of his flat where he gracefully lowered himself into his chair
as he sipped his drink.
While Elmer flopped like a fish and moaned, Spike rolled his eyes and sighed with
disgust. "What happened was that you fainted like a virginal maiden in a cheap, tawdry
romance novel. What the fuck, Toots? Did you leave your balls at home on the bedside
stand this morning?"
Elmer rubbed his hand over his forehead as he swung his legs over the side and sat up.
The insult to his manhood sailed high over his head as he tried to recall what had happed
but things were still a bit fuzzy. "I fainted? Gosh, I don't think I ever did that before.
I remember that we were sitting at the Vampster having a pleasant tet-a tat when.....
when you said....."
Spike crossed his feet at the ankles and he took another casual sip as he waited for the
lights to come on in Tootstown. It didn't take long when, at the moment of illumination
and recollection Elmer leapt to his feet as an expression of sheer terror crossed his face
and his finger punched the air wildly.
"You heretic! It is blasphemy!! It is an unheard of crime against nature and the law! I
shall report you immediately! I shall have no part in this atrocity that you have......"
Spike calmly continued to drink his blood while his visitor ranted and raved. When he felt
that the short stubby Toots had gone on long enough to make his loyalties obvious, Spike set
his half empty cup on the coffee table. "We are in my private residence, Elmer. There are
no cameras or bugs anywhere. It is just you and me."
Immediately, Elmer settled down and his ample ass returned to the couch where he snatched
up Spike's mug and he drained it in one big gulp. He then swiped his sleeve across his
mouth and grinned. "Just us? You sure? Hey, it don't matter. You're my pal, Spike. Fuck
them authorities. You know I'm on your side. Whatever you say to Elmer Toots stays
with Elmer Toots."
Spike shook his head and snorted. Despite himself, he really liked Toots, he just couldn't
figure out why. With his hands on his knees, Spike hoisted himself out of his chair. He
waved the empty mug in Elmer's direction and Toots responded to the unspoken offer with
a big grin and an eager nod of his head. As Spike headed for the kitchen for a refill, Elmer
took the time to check out his surroundings.
Beginning in the livingroom, Elmer wandered from one area of the space to another as his
hands ghosted over the expensive fabrics on the furniture and estimated the weight of the
drapes that hung at the huge windows. He studied the artwork on the walls and he peered
into the display stands that held elegant crystal and mementos of far-off travels. His
evaluation was culminated in a long low whistle.
"Woo wee, ole' pal. This is a hell of a place you got here. You live here all by yourself?"
Spike poured two cups full of the rich red liquid and he set them in the microwave. He
pushed the numbered buttons and waited as the appliance whirred to life. "Yep. All by myself."
Elmer felt a fissure of excitement skitter up his spine like a mouse. He had never know a
rich person. Not dead or even alive. There had to be some way that this would benefit
Elmer's favorite charity. The Foundation for the Advancement of Elmer Toots.
On the outside, his demeanor remained calmly indifferent. "Yeah, I got a nice place too but
it ain't near as sharp as this. Course, there is that little situation of my overdue rent. Times
is hard for a vamp like me trying to get by on them skimpy gubment hand-outs. Now if I had
me a roommate and we lived together in a bigger place...."
"Here you are." Spike pointedly ignored the subject of discussion as he joined his guest in
the den and he handed Toots a warm cup of blood. Spike patiently sipped from his own
while he waited for Elmer to bring up the real matter of concern. The obvious elephant in
the room. After a couple gulps, he did.
"So, Spike. I'm still a bit foggy about what happened just before I passed out but I seem to
recall you saying something about..."
"I kissed Xander Harris. And he kissed me back."
Elmer clutched his blood mug to prevent even one drop from being spilled and he plopped
down on the chair at Spike's computer, presumably before he fell over. As Elmer's addled
brain tried to absorb the outrageous concept, he shook his head and his eyes diverted in
the direction of the papers stacked on the desk where he spotted the full-colored picture
of a smiling, nearly naked man who was oddly familiar.
"AAHHH!!! That's.... That's Mr. Harris! Don't deny it! I can tell by .... Well I can just tell!"
Spike smirked. "Yep, that's my boy. Give me that picture himself, he did. Said he wanted me
to have it for the evenings when me and my right hand had a little free time."
Elmer scowled as the string of lies dripped from Spike's lips like warm honey. When it
became clear that no response was to be forthcoming, Spike sat down on the side chair
that Xander used when he worked with Spike at the computer. He leaned forward. He rested
his forearms on his thighs and he clasped his hands. It was suddenly very important to him
that Elmer understand how he felt. Maybe not Elmer per se but Spike just wanted some one
to fathom the depths of this new-found passion.
"Come on, Elmer. You aren't a new vamp. You were around in the before time and yes, I
know talking about that is forbidden but there is no one here but us. Please. Talk to me. Tell
me you remember how it feels to touch a human. To hold them in your arms and kiss their
warm lips. You remember lying with their hot, eager bodies and plunging your cock and
fangs into them as they squirm and wriggle beneath you. Jesus, Elmer, don't you miss that?"
After a moment's hesitation, Elmer's nearly bald head nodded slightly and when he spoke,
his voice had lost a good portion of the cartoony tone it usually carried. His eyes took on
a faraway gaze and the corners of his lips tipped up in a small, sad smile. "Okay, yeah.
I remember. I was forty years turned when the leaders outed us. I had been happily
traveling through the South sucking and fucking my way from the Bayou to the Gulf Coast
and back. I had my way with more eager housewives on the sandy beaches than I could
count. Didn't even have to kill them. I sucked their necks and they sucked my cock. It
was the perfect arrangement. It was a good life. So to speak. No strings. No
commitments. Yep. Elmer Toots was one happy-ass vampire."
Spike was delighted by the unexpected honesty. It was the first time in five years that he
had heard a vampire actually say what he knew they were all thinking. It was more than
Spike could have hoped for and it filled him with a warm feeling of connection and
comradery with this homely little man.
Spike had been wrong. Elmer Toots was very much in possession of his man-balls.
Spike gripped Elmer's knees as he spoke. "Exactly! And why should that be? Don't we
have rights? When we were alive, we were protected by the Constitution and the Bill of
Rights. Why did our rights automatically become null and void when we died? The
United States Declaration of Independence states that we all have the inalienable right to
life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Just because we have forfeited the life part why
does that mean that they can snatch the liberty and happiness from us too?"
Elmer listened to Spike's little speech and he had to admit that he struggled to find fault with
the logic. Still, he wasn't entirely certain what direction this conversation was taking. "Yeah,
I suppose it's true but I doubt that the forefathers were taking into account the conditions of
an undead demon population when they were putting pen to paper."
Spike eagerly nodded his agreement. "True. True but that is why amendments are made to
the constitution. So that as society changes and evolves, the intent, integrity and spirit of
the document can be maintained. I think it is time that we stand up and be counted. Just like
the uprisings of the Civil Rights movement in the sixties, we vampires need to take a stand.
The fucking Elders went about it all wrong when they threatened to take over the world.
We don't want to run anything. We just want our equal rights as citizens."
Comprehension soaked in slowly as what Spike was proposing became clear. Visions
of stormtroopers with water hoses spraying holy water into a screaming crowed of fanged
fiends danced in his brain as Elmer Toots blinked and leaned back hoping to put some
space between himself and this anarchist. What Spike was suggesting was outrageous. It
was impossible and frankly, Elmer Toots was not ready to be dusted. Besides, he had
Pinky and their relationship to consider.
"Whoa there, buddy. Look, Spike, don't get me wrong, I see what you are saying but the
IVRC has an iron grip on the world wide vampire community. You can't beat them. They
are just too powerful."
Spike again nodded and although they were all alone, his voice dropped to a quiet,
conspiratorial tone. "It's true. They are strong but if we stood together we could be stronger."
Elmer's fearful eyes darted all around hoping that Spike's 'we' spoke of an army he had
hidden somewhere around his flat. "We? As in you and me? Damn, look at the time. I
gotta go, Spike but hey, good luck with that overthrowing the world thing. Keep in touch
and let me know how it goes." As Elmer tried to slip away, Spike grabbed him by the arm
and jerked him back into his seat.
"Sit down, you idiot. No, not you and me. See the thing is, when Xander started teaching me
the computer, I noticed all of the vampire-specific sites. Sites that humans have no interest
in. Porn, dating, general government information, shopping, etc. They reach millions of
vamps all over the world. If someone was to slip certain innocuous code words into these
sites, on the surface they would seem innocent enough and if pinpointed, nothing could
be proven but in time, they could be used to organize the greatest uprising the world has
Elmer could all but feel his dead heart pounding in fear at what Spike was proposing.
Then, another thought crept in. It was one that he found offensive and even more ugly that
the concept of a vampire coup. "Is that what you are doing with Mr. Harris? Are you just
using him? Cause if you are, I think that's pretty shitty. Xander is a good human and if you
get him killed just so........"
"NO!" Spike jumped to his feet. His face flushed red with anger and he loomed
intimidatingly over his visitor. Just the illution of an accusation in this vein started
Spike's borrowed blood boiling.
"Xander doesn't know anything about this and I have no intention of telling him. Business
is business and my feelings for him are personal. Don't you EVER accuse me of...."
Elmer threw his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay. My bad. We're cool. Say, why don't
you get us a refill and I guess it wouldn't hurt none to just talk about this idea of yours."